a finger along the edge of the

my mother梒riticize, criticize, criticize.““I’m not being negative,“ I said. „I’m trying to be realistic.““I’m doing the best I can under the circumstances,“ she said. „How come you never blame your father for anything? He’s no saint, you know.““I know,“ I said. I ran a finger along the edge of the desk. Dad was always parking his cigarettes there, and it was ribbed with a row of black cigarette burns, like a decorative border christian louboutin bridal . „Mom, you have to leave Dad,“ I said.
She stopped doing her toe touches. „I can’t believe you would say that,“ she said. „I can’t believe that you, of all christian louboutin wedding shoes people, would turn on your father.“ I was Dad’s last defender, she continued, the only one who pretended to believe all his excuses and tales, and to have faith in his plans for the future. „He loves you so much,“ Mom said. „How can you do this to him?““I don’t blame Dad,“ I said. And I didn’t. But Dad seemed hell-bent on destroying himself, and I was afraid he was going to pull us all down with him. „We’ve got to get away.““But I can’t leave your father!“ she said.
I told Mom that if she left Dad, she’d be eligible for government aid, which she couldn’t get now because she had an abl jimmy choo e-bodied husband. Some people at school梟ot to mention half the people on Little Hobart Street梬ere on welfare, and it wasn’t so bad. I knew Mom was opposed to welfare, but those kids got food stamps and clothing allowances. The state bou christian louboutin sale ght them coal and paid for their school lunches.
Mom wouldn’t hear of it. Welfare, she said, would cause irreparable psychological damage to us kids. „You can be hungry every now and then, but once you eat, you’re okay,“ she said. „And you can get cold for a while, but you always warm up. Once you go on welfare, it changes you. Even if you get off welfare, you never escape the stigma that you were a charity case. You’re scarred for life.““Fine,“ I said. „If we’re not charity cases, then get a job.“ There was a teacher shortage in McDowell County, just like there h christian louboutin boots ad been in Battle Mountain. She could get work in a heartbeat, and when she had a salary, we could move into a little apartment in town.
„That sounds like an awful life,“ Mom said.
„Worse than this?“ I asked.
Mom turned quiet. She seemed to be thinking christian louboutin . Then she looked up. She was smiling serenely. „I can’t leav christian louboutin shoe sale e your father,“ she said. „It’s against the Catholic faith.“ Then she sighed. „And anyway, you cheap christian louboutin know your mom. I’m an excitement addict.“MOM NEVER TOLD Dad that I’d urged her to leave him. That summer he still thought of me as his biggest supporter, and given that there was so little competition for the job, I probably was.
One afternoon in June, Dad and I were sitting out on the porch, our legs dangling over the side, looking down at the houses below. That summer, it was so hot I could barely breathe. It seemed hotter than Phoenix or Battle Mountain, where it regularly climbe christian louboutin outlet d above a hundred degrees, so when Dad told me it was only ninety degrees, I said the thermometer must be broken. But he said no, we were used to dry desert heat, and this was humid h christian louboutin uk eat.
It was a lot hotter, Dad pointed out, down in the valley along Stewart Street, which was lined with those cute brick houses that had their neat, sq christian louboutin black uar cheap louboutins e lawns and corrugated aluminum breezeways. The valleys trapped the heat. Our house was the highest on the mountainside, which made it, ergo, the coolest spot in Welch. In case of flooding梐s we had seen梚t was also the safest. „You didn’t kno

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